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2.17.2024 ~ still smoke free, haven’t vaped, smoked or ingested THC. wahoo to me! My process: instead of THC. I ate a lot of cheese. Now I’ve given up all dairy to write poetry and finally free my right hand of eczema.

Instead of smoking i’ve been making poetry/songwriting, music therapy, self processing emotion and grief.

Grandma Lillian

Feel all your grief it will be a relief

Grandma died our family divided

we tried to stay united

she lived 90+ strong 

from a broken home in war torn country

on a boat to the philippines by any means

she got married and made her family

To the USA

the land of possibility

she worked real hard

made her clothes and cut her hair

lived humbly without a care

was always there

for family

her legacy

her children and her grandchildren

i hope we will make her proud

and stand out from the toxic crowd

in love, in service

to a higher purpose

love you Grandma Lillian

peaceful warrior and a gentle genius

Number 3. On 3. Crumbled in 3.

I’m sorry for what I said I’m sorry for what I posted I was having a kanye moment

Instead of lighting up I was writing up Rhymes in my head Hurt and confused, ego bruised

Is it kind, is it true Will it make you blue if I say it out

I’ll just write it out If I hurt you, I hurt me too

Taking space to heal our hearts

It’s not for forever its now or never

i said too much you said too little but in the end…

you are my friend

a season or a lifetime

a reason in the meantime 

Thank you for all we’ve been through

Thank you for the highs and lows

The lessons and the sorrow

our time was borrowed

In love, in practice, we were so romantic

In hurt and panic we were so dramatic

Fly like a bird

Swim like a dolphin

In the sea of our dreams

we’ll always have Hawaii

you took me to the mountain top

I was sucking on my lollipop

We spoke our hearts and cried real hard

Looking at you

I saw my reflection

Spoke my intention

In love, in practice, we were so romantic

In hurt and panic we were so dramatic

Fly like a bird

Swim like a dolphin

In the sea of our dreams

We’ll always have Hawaii

For now we must part to mend our broken hearts

it’s not for forever

but its now or never

it’s not for forever

but its now or never

I’ll miss you till we meet again

Friends until the end …. <3 <3 <3 

Number 2. The Lion.

You are the lion the tiger 

the empress The temptress

Keep going there’s no telling

If things will work out or burn out

Be curious about your own pace in your own way

Don’t be scared of alone time with your own mind

Grandma said be your own best friend You’re the one til the very end

You are beautiful You are brave 

It’s gonna be okay dont be too serious or delirious

choose kindness over bitterness

Boundaries are necessary to let go to let flow

You never know what they’re going through

In the end everyone wants love too 

It hurts the worst when you’re going through a growth spurt 

There’s power in the feeling, time will do the healing

Number 1. You are free

You’re happy and free You’re healthy You’re worthy

We were friends Living our life

Deep inside Trying to get by

Afraid to change Afraid to say We flatlined

It’s time to grow It’s time to go

It’s time to grow It’s time to go

I’m sorry to criticize I just want you to actualize your dream 

full steam No longer scared No longer scared to breathe

Don’t distract yourself from living your life Become a wife birth life

don’t wanna fight don’t need to be right Just wanna take flight

On the best life

You’re happy and free You’re healthy You’re worthy

1.19.2024

my progress with leaving smoke behind

I am 2 days shy of my first 30 days of quitting smoking! I have been a habitual smoker for the last 10 years, and even though I tried to quit multiple times, it never stuck. This time, I used the winter solstice energy, prayers and mantras, asking for support from my ancestors, guides and angels… and the very next day, I felt no desire to smoke. I plan to quit forever. As I approach 40 years old, I want to be very mindful of my toxin intake, especially if I have control over it.

Please send me good vibes and supportive encouragement for the continued success of being smoke free.

My freedom date from THC is 12/21/23

If you’ve been struggling with letting go of something in your life, i hope this inspires you… anything is possible!